Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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