worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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