Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
