Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
