its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this boner is exhausting
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
