I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
