I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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