I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize