And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
