so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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