I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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