Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
