That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
