Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
