I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
