Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
