I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
