So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
