I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
