Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Success! We fucked roommates!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize