saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need a burrito and a hug.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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