i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My brain says no but my pants say off.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
