I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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