I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
