Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
