Got a toothbrush?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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