her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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