And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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