ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I believe in your delicious
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
