In the future we'll all be gay
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
