When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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