hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize