Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
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