He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
