You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
