You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
