And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
