He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
