that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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