I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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