You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
