Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
