Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
