Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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