I smell stomach acid.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I love you.
Bad choice
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