she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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