my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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