he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
