my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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