I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
whose parrot is this?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
