I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Everclear isn't food dammit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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