I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
