Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
