his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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