Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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