Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
