i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
