yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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