She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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