About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
