I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
